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Bully No More

11/27/2013

4 Comments

 
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Last week was anti-bullying week in schools. I am writing about it this week because despite the fact that "anti-bullying awareness week" is now over, we still need to be thinking about it.
 
During anti-bullying week, students across the province wrote rap songs, poetry and short stories. They did interactive exercises, wore pink and huddled together to chant against bullying.  All good.  Thankfully, the Ontario Ministry of Education has legislated stiff sentences for recurring bullies. Bully once and you get a warning. Bully twice and things get more serious with citations in the Ontario Student Record (OSR) and possible suspension. Monitoring bullying is only going to get tougher because of the far-reaching social media machine: texting, facebook, and instagram are making it harder to decipher who started what, and when.
 
Bullying is not only about kids at school. It happens between parents & kids, brothers & sisters, adults & their aging parents, bosses & employees. It is everywhere and it is very human. It is also about power and a false sense of ego. Those who are bullied go on to bully. Some dismiss it as a joke, but they obviously do not have a good sense of humour. If kids are being bullied, it is important that they not ignore it in the hopes that it will go away. They should seek help from an adult and that adult should intervene immediately. The bully and the victim need to be separated so as to ensure that everyone is safe.  Quietly and calmly try to assess what happened, by speaking to both separately and in private.  Apologizing may not necessarily be the objective here. The bully needs to understand the consequences (suspension, OSR) and the zero tolerance rule with the new legislation that is now in place. Treat both parties with respect. We need to model the behaviour we are looking for.
 
If you have bullied someone or been bullied, what did you do? Every action requires a response. What was yours?

4 Comments
Marie-Louise Donald link
11/27/2013 01:24:12 pm

Hello Gina,

I believe I was bullied by a student in the College where I teach. I wrote to her and told her how I felt and she changed her attitude afterwards.

I thought this would not be possible between a teacher and a student. Honestly, it kept me awake several nights.

Thank you for your post,

MLD

Reply
Gina
12/3/2013 09:59:37 am

Marie-Louise: It astounds me how often this kind of bullying happens in life. I am glad that you had the courage to confront her and tell her how her behaviour was affecting you. Hopeully, she will not continue to intimidate others.We hope.

Thank you for writing me about this. Bises.

Reply
Malik link
11/28/2013 08:02:55 am

Dear Gina,

I really appreciate all of your work including this article about bullying.

I grew up in a very harsh school environment at the public school prior to my excellent middle and high school.

Thanks God that I haven't been bullied a lot, but I have seen students who have been bullied all the time.

And I can tell that it effects them even when they grow up.

I hope that we can achieve zero bullying and teach this to other developing countries too.

Keep up the good work,

Malik

Reply
Gina
12/3/2013 10:05:30 am

Dear Malik : Sometimes teachers mistake discipline for bullying. If they are tough on the students, they believe that they are teaching well and will be respected more. Thankfully, we no longer believe that in Canada, but many countries still believe it.

You are absolutely right that bullying can have a negative impact on life for long time. As your beautiful children get older, they will probably be bullied at school. Mine have been bullied and it was difficult to witness. Watch out for them and be proactive if it happens.

Thank you for taking the time to write Malik.

Reply



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